Tag Archives: Acceptance

Can We Make Sense of Dating and Mating? (Part 3) – Building a Life Together

Nothing helps clarify your values like being in an intimate, committed relationship. We are often unaware of our deeply held values and goals. But when your partner-to-be says or does something that runs afoul of one of them, you might … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Family, Therapy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Can “Present You” Help “Future You”?

Just like compound interest for our mind and heart, the lessons we learn early in the new year will keep producing dividends month after month. Let’s look right now at 3 lessons that, if learned early in 2015, will spare … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Perseverance | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

New, Yes, but Improved?

Thanks to the hopeful (or cynical) genius who invented the concept of New Year’s resolutions, the average gym derives the majority of its revenue from new memberships purchased in January. A January 2013 article in Forbes magazine suggested that, although … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Perseverance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Creating Community Part 2: Tzimtzum and Empathic Listening

According to the sixteenth century Jewish mystic Isaac Luria, when God decided to create the world, since He filled the entire universe, He found it necessary to withdraw Himself. Without this process of creative withdrawing, which Luria called tzimtzum, “there … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Family | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Creating Community Part 1: Show Up and Speak Up

Imagine if, when we left our homes tomorrow morning, every one of us saw our secret thoughts and feelings spelled out in neon lights above our heads. Would we be horrified? Would we rush to throw a blanket over our … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Health, Therapy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Good Grieving Part 4: Through the Darkness, Into a New World

What we call “grieving” is our journey from normalcy into the disorientation, pain and darkness of loss, and then, if we do our “good grieving” work, into a new world. We all make this journey many times, in ways big … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Health, Perseverance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Good Grieving Part 3: Anger and Bargaining

Grieving is the name we give to the ways we respond to change and loss in our lives. We can’t stop change and loss from intruding into our lives, so we can’t not grieve, but we can learn to grieve … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Health, Perseverance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Good Grieving Part 2: Denial

“Good grieving” is the process of responding and adjusting to change and loss while learning how to keep your heart open to hope. The “good” in “good grieving” is not about “good vs. bad,” but about “more healthy vs. less … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Health, Perseverance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do Therapists Go to Therapy?

Monday, January 12th, 1998, 10:00am. My wife and I are sitting in the office of a marriage therapist in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. The therapist sits across from us, and invites my wife to talk about the pain she’s experiencing in … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Family, Perseverance, Therapy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What is Attachment? (Part 1)

“safe haven, secure base” American psychologist Harry Harlow revolutionized the way we think about emotional attachments, and he did it with artificial monkeys. In a series of experiments during the late 1950s and early 1960s, Harlow observed that baby rhesus … Continue reading

Posted in Emotions, Health, Therapy | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment