Category Archives: Therapy

Building a Solid, Stable Life: Community (Part 1)

“Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we must be saved by love.” Reinhold Niebuhr In October 2012, the New York City area felt the fury of Hurricane Sandy. The hurricane was responsible for about a hundred … Continue reading

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Big-Log-Removers Anonymous

Imagine an emergency room doctor trying to remove a small splinter from her patient’s eye. Now image that the doctor has a telephone pole protruding from her own eye! How can the doctor see clearly enough to help her patient, … Continue reading

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Get Ready, Get Set, Change!

You know when to change the oil in your car, because the windshield sticker has the 3-months/3,000 miles date on it. You know when it’s time to change the baby’s diaper because … well, you just know! But how do … Continue reading

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Can We Make Sense of Dating and Mating? (Part 3) – Building a Life Together

Nothing helps clarify your values like being in an intimate, committed relationship. We are often unaware of our deeply held values and goals. But when your partner-to-be says or does something that runs afoul of one of them, you might … Continue reading

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Couple Therapy, Part 3: Your Relationship Dance – Injury-Prone, or Intimate?

We watch “Dancing with the Stars” and shows like it to be inspired by the artistry of the contestants. But some of the celebrity contestants, sincere though they may be, inspire our sympathy rather than our admiration. When a couple comes … Continue reading

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Couple Therapy, Part 2: “Naked and Unashamed”

In my previous blog, I discussed how a couple therapist serves as a “lifeguard” for relationships. The therapist calms the couple’s panic, listens empathetically and normalizes their experience of woundedness. As the couple and the therapist collaborate in the healing process, … Continue reading

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Couple Therapy, Part 1: The Lifeboat and the Lifeguard

The beginning of the year is a great time to start or restart therapy with your partner, to pursue new perspectives and new skills for your love relationship. To this end I offer you a story, “The Lifeboat.” Once upon … Continue reading

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Therapy and “The Gift of the Magi”

“One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies.” In his classic Christmas short story The Gift of the Magi, O. Henry paints a picture of a young married couple making their passage … Continue reading

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Is It Thanksgiving Or “Thanks-Giving”?

At this time of the year, if we listen carefully, we can hear the Spirit of Thanksgiving calling to us, “Remember … remember.” That’s what the practice of “thanks-giving” is – the conscious remembering of undeserved benefits we’ve received. This … Continue reading

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Addiction and Recovery (Part 4) – Co-Dependence

For a family member or friend of an alcoholic or addict, life can feel like a non-stop roller coaster ride. When we are emotionally attached to someone whose life has been rendered unmanageable by addiction, our own life can become … Continue reading

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