Big-Log-Removers Anonymous

Imagine an emergency room doctor trying to remove a small splinter from her patient’s eye. Big-Log-Removers AnonymousNow image that the doctor has a telephone pole protruding from her own eye! How can the doctor see clearly enough to help her patient, with a big log stuck in her own eye?

But, of course, this is something all of us do all the time – we point out to others the issues we think they should be working on, while we ourselves can’t see the same issues in our own lives. 

I’d like to suggest a new group for people trying to overcome this problem of ignoring their own issues while trying to fix those around them. We’ll call it “Big-Log-Removers Anonymous.” Here are 11 suggested steps for removing big logs from our own eyes.

The 11 Steps of Big-Log-Removers Anonymous

Step 1 — We admitted that the big logs in our eyes (our character defects) were hurting us and those around us – that they were making our lives unmanageable.

Step 2 – We came to believe that some power(s) greater than ourselves (e.g., the God of our understanding, people helpers, wise family members and friends) could help us remove our logs.

Step 3 – We made a decision to cooperate with this power(s) in the hope of learning how to remove our logs.

Step 4 – We made a searching and fearless inventory of all the ways we ignore or minimize our own issues and try to fix those around us.

Step 5 – We admitted to our Higher Power(s), to ourselves and to one or more human beings the exact nature of our logs/defects.

Step 6 – We became ready for our logs/defects to be removed, by looking deeply and compassionately into ourselves.

Step 7 – We humbly asked our Higher Power(s) to help us remove our logs/defects.

Step 8 – We made a list of people with whom we were at odds (knowing that unresolved conflicts sap us of creative and healing energy) and became willing to work toward the healing of these relationships.

Step 9 – We took steps to bring healing to these difficult relationships, being careful to care both for ourselves and the other person.

Step 10 – We continued to become aware of our logs/defects, and became less and less defensive as time went by.

Step 11 – Having had our eyes healed and our vision clarified by the removal of these big logs, we continued to grow in our ability to care for ourselves and for those around us.

Curious about how to apply these suggested steps to your life? Call or write, and we’ll start the log-removing work together!


Jay R. Feld HeadshotDr. Jay R. Feld
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
(917) 572-4068

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